Being “Super Mom”: finding strength in Motherhood

I was dozing to sleep on the couch for the second time today- holy moly growing a baby is exhausting. The time was 4:30 pm -witching hour- the kids were tired from skipping naps, hungry and wanting all the treats they could find, fighting over a piece of fluff they found on the floor, and Dad had just texted to say he needed to work late. All of my “sweet mommy voice” had run out after breaking up arguments and dealing with tantrums all day. Being house bound from the terribly cold and snowy weather was starting to affect all of us. That nauseous feeling from pregnancy was picking up again and there was a very high chance we were having Kraft Dinner or pancakes for supper. I was feeling overwhelmed. There was nothing left to give and the day still had so many hours…

I seem to have many moments like earlier today. I want so badly to be “Super Mom”… but sometimes that ideal seems far away.

I have been doing a lot of self-contemplation and studying on parenting. There are a few things that I have learned that have been helpful in my quest for becoming “Super Mom”:

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‘Motherhood’: not just the crummy stuff

Yesterday’s rainy afternoon took us to Walmart; partially because we were out of fruit, but mostly because we needed an outing. Nap time for the almost 2-year-old was being put on hold to try to get on a better bedtime schedule (Summer has been terrible for schedules). Our aisle wandering finally took us to the toy section where the kids explored and pushed all the buttons, creating a chaotic, noisy section of the store. It was still rainy outside so I let them play for longer than usual, I was being a fun mom. There were a few tricycles out on display that my two little rugrats hopped on and started motoring around on. No one else was around, so I didn’t mind.

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Childhood – a Gift

I believe that childhood is a gift. Childhood is a period of innocence and immaturity; a time to explore, learn, and progress. Our Creator, who in his wisdom, sends each person as a child to enhance their life, and bless the world around them.

There is only a single chance to live childhood. Each individual is born only once; body and spirit combined into a tiny infant. A fresh baby, who through much trial and hardship, is brought through the veil of heaven and into the arms of a mother. Totally and completely dependent, the journey of mortality begins. Aging is a mortal concept, a process appointed singularly for our earth life. For a few short years, each person has an opportunity to be young.

My first memories are recalled at the age of four. My world towered above me, my parents knew all sorts of important information, and everything tasted better dipped in ketchup. I watched and learned from my parents; awe-struck with what they accomplished. Once, my father ran behind me as I learned to balance on a bike without training wheels. I knew I was amazing; I was special. I easily accepted everyone, and especially enjoyed playing with the children who had challenges. My world was simple and beautiful.

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The Sacred Gift of Childbirth- Review

*giveaway closed*

I recently received a copy of “The Sacred Gift of Childbirth; making empowered choices for you and your baby” by Marie Bigelow, with the expectation to write a review and post it here for all of you to read. I had high hopes that I would enjoy it and be able to positively recommend it to my blog readers. Marie did not disappoint. I found myself drawn to the book, and excited to read on. Not only was the read educational and informative on the process of birth, but it caused me to feel uplifted and become a cheerleader for all women.

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I’m the worst mom, ever.

Some days are hard. Some days I feel like the worst mom, ever. Why? I’m imperfect, and I fall short.

I sometimes fall asleep on the floor while my kids play with the hotwheels track I put together, but can’t bear to roll cars on.

Sometimes I lock myself in the bathroom, and ignore my children to get a break. Despite the pounding on the door.

I can sit in the same room with my children happily playing and scroll the various apps on my phone, totally missing out on the interaction. I’m just not mentally there anymore.

I snap. I get to a point where I lose it, and if everything isn’t exactly how I want after the count of three, all the time outs come out.

After dealing with a tantruming one year old in the middle of the night for what seems like hours, I get mad, and then I leave said toddler in his room to figure it out for himself. Or for my husband to deal with.

My children sometimes watch 4 episodes of paw patrol in a row.

My house seems like a constant mess.

I can’t keep up with everything.

My 3 year old is usually wearing miss-matched stained clothes, and has a huge rats nest in her hair (that she refuses to let me brush).

I’m bossy, and sometimes yell.

I’m usually wearing yoga pants, and an unflattering t-shirt with some sort of smear on it. I can’t find half my makeup, and the half I do have is hardly ever applied.

I have a breakdown every few weeks, after everything seems to just topple over after being piled up for too long.

Sometimes I struggle to be happy with my role as a mother.

The list could go on, and I’m sure you could fill in a few more lines of why you think you are the worst___ _, ever.

It has taken me a few days to get past this point of this post. I needed to take a break and do some deep digging as to why I feel this way, what is causing it, and how I can resolve it….

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I am a Mother: Finding Joy in my Work

I’ve had a lot of thoughts on my work bouncing around my head lately. My work as a mother. What I do day in and day out.

We recently went to my Husbands work Christmas party, and I was so worried about what the co-workers wives would think of me. They all have impressive careers and perfect children to boot.

I kept practicing in my head the response to the question “What do you do?” with an elaborate impressive dialog of my children and duties of a mother. But when instead posed with the question “So are you still on maternity leave?” I was stopped in my tracks. I stammered out some details about dropping out of nursing school and working part time jobs before our oldest was born and being a stay at home mom ever since. The nudge and comment to my husband from her’s, “Its all on you hey?”  left me feeling small and unsuccessful.

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